No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
