took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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