So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
