The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
