We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
