Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
