Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
