so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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