I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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