i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
