He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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