We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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