i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
