If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
