the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
