This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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