those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize