this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
