Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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