So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Who died my cat blue again?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
