Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
