I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
