i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
