A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
