She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
