So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
