dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
