I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
foreskin is a definite game changer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Randomize
