Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
