i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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