Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
id be glad to
I faked an abortion last night.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
