i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My penis needs a shock collar
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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