Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
never play flip cup with pint glasses
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize