Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
