God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
