I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
