the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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