I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
