STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
