This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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