My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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