and you said cock pushups were impossible
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
