Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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