my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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