Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
