left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
