I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
