guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
