Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
