We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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