u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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