That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
