shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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