Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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