You kept calling me your small dog last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
there is glitter all over my balls
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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