this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
