my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
