well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
