I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
