Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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