i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i believe in u and ur pee
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
